Help Me! I'm Thinking Too Much!
To distract myself from my real world troubles which threaten to overwhelm, or at least do me in for awhile, I am now devoting myself to figuring out where America's social compass (television) has gone wrong. That, and writing in only run-on sentences, which by the end of this post you will find very annoying, especially if you say, have a degree in English, or a high school education.
Why has television decided to annoy me this season? Or rather, why do I have enough free time to care? OK, the first question is more interesting, so we're going to answer that one first. Chances are I will run out of time, or brilliance before I get to the second question. Fresh off of my marathon brief writing [note 10 pages written in 8 hours, complete with Bluebooking and correct formatting... a new record] I feel compelled to give everything headings with affirmative statements.
I. The first female president as represented by Geena Davis is a sham.
Who came up with the idea that if a show was going to be about a female vice-president who was put on the ticket as a gimmick then becomes president that she would have to be masculine?
Example #1: Her name is Mackenzie and she is called "Mac" throughout the show.
Example #2: In one episode she leads while dancing at a reception at the White House, this clip is of course played over and over on promos.
Example #3: Geena Davis is six foot something and rather athletic. The show's creators are trying to work her athleticism into the show.
A. WTF.
There is no reason why the first (fictional) president has to be butch. Now mind you, I'm not saying she has to be a sorority girl or that strong women aren't (a) attractive or (b) fit to run the country. But let's be realistic. When is the last time you saw a female politician that looks like Geena Davis? A woman can be the commander in chief without taking on masculine characteristics. I find it insulting that the series felt it necessary to make her less feminine to attract audiences. Or perhaps I find it insulting that that's what audiences want... WTF America? Wake up and welcome to the 2000's! Hillary in '08!
II. Television characters always contemplate having an abortion, but never do.
In Sex in the City, Miranda contemplates having an abortion, but decides to keep the baby instead. We only learn that other characters have had abortions in the past through anectdotes.
In some show on the WB this season a girl contemplated having an abortion, instead she decides to go to college in London with her friend. Apparently being an unwed mother is better accepted in Britain. This week on Grey's Anatomy, Sandra Oh's character was going to have an abortion, but turns out she conveniently had an ectopic pregnancy and so she doesn't have to have the abortion, nature takes care of it for her. Why do networks shy away from actually having a character go through with it? They can talk about it and debate it and bring up the old "should I tell him" question a million times, but no one ever goes through with it. Roe v. Wade was decided 32 years ago. Abortions were performed for decades before that. You would think network television, or at least HBO, would catch up with society. Or you would think that society wouldn't be run by corporations afraid of legal medical procedures.
III. It takes me at least a week to figure out what's going on in Lost.
It took me until today to figure out that the girl on the last episode was the one in the bar hitting on Jack before the flight. So she really was on the plane and sitting in the back. Why can't I figure these things out when I'm watching that show? Has law school or my rampant alcoholism really killed that many brain cells?
IV. Why did they kill off Michael Vartan on Alias?
I know, that's not an affirmative statement, but sometimes questions keep your readers awake. I have lost respect for Jennifer Garner since she was involved in the reincarnation of Bennifer. Ben Affleck has no talent. In fact, I think he has negative talent. Michael Vartan was much better for her, on the show and in real life. Her career can only go downhill from here. It's a sad, sad world when Ben Affleck gets the girl.
V. The West Wing should end.
No one can be president besides Martin Sheen. And this season is boring. They already did a season about the presidential campaign, and they aren't doing a good job with this one. I think they could realistically end the season with the presidential elections being thrown off by a terrorist attack and Martin Sheen having to remain in office indefinitely to maintain the country's stability. Wait, that wouldn't really end the show would it? And it would pose an interesting constitutional question... how long could he remain president? When would the elections have to be held again? What if the country was under martial rule? No elections in a martial law country. Hmm... so many possibilities to avoid having Jimmy Smits become president.
Conclusion: Wasting time by watching television leads to as many questions floating around in my head as I had before. Only they aren't pushing out the old questions, only squishing them a little bit by taking up space. All this, and I'm still going to get no sleep tonight. Damn television.
Why has television decided to annoy me this season? Or rather, why do I have enough free time to care? OK, the first question is more interesting, so we're going to answer that one first. Chances are I will run out of time, or brilliance before I get to the second question. Fresh off of my marathon brief writing [note 10 pages written in 8 hours, complete with Bluebooking and correct formatting... a new record] I feel compelled to give everything headings with affirmative statements.
I. The first female president as represented by Geena Davis is a sham.
Who came up with the idea that if a show was going to be about a female vice-president who was put on the ticket as a gimmick then becomes president that she would have to be masculine?
Example #1: Her name is Mackenzie and she is called "Mac" throughout the show.
Example #2: In one episode she leads while dancing at a reception at the White House, this clip is of course played over and over on promos.
Example #3: Geena Davis is six foot something and rather athletic. The show's creators are trying to work her athleticism into the show.
A. WTF.
There is no reason why the first (fictional) president has to be butch. Now mind you, I'm not saying she has to be a sorority girl or that strong women aren't (a) attractive or (b) fit to run the country. But let's be realistic. When is the last time you saw a female politician that looks like Geena Davis? A woman can be the commander in chief without taking on masculine characteristics. I find it insulting that the series felt it necessary to make her less feminine to attract audiences. Or perhaps I find it insulting that that's what audiences want... WTF America? Wake up and welcome to the 2000's! Hillary in '08!
II. Television characters always contemplate having an abortion, but never do.
In Sex in the City, Miranda contemplates having an abortion, but decides to keep the baby instead. We only learn that other characters have had abortions in the past through anectdotes.
In some show on the WB this season a girl contemplated having an abortion, instead she decides to go to college in London with her friend. Apparently being an unwed mother is better accepted in Britain. This week on Grey's Anatomy, Sandra Oh's character was going to have an abortion, but turns out she conveniently had an ectopic pregnancy and so she doesn't have to have the abortion, nature takes care of it for her. Why do networks shy away from actually having a character go through with it? They can talk about it and debate it and bring up the old "should I tell him" question a million times, but no one ever goes through with it. Roe v. Wade was decided 32 years ago. Abortions were performed for decades before that. You would think network television, or at least HBO, would catch up with society. Or you would think that society wouldn't be run by corporations afraid of legal medical procedures.
III. It takes me at least a week to figure out what's going on in Lost.
It took me until today to figure out that the girl on the last episode was the one in the bar hitting on Jack before the flight. So she really was on the plane and sitting in the back. Why can't I figure these things out when I'm watching that show? Has law school or my rampant alcoholism really killed that many brain cells?
IV. Why did they kill off Michael Vartan on Alias?
I know, that's not an affirmative statement, but sometimes questions keep your readers awake. I have lost respect for Jennifer Garner since she was involved in the reincarnation of Bennifer. Ben Affleck has no talent. In fact, I think he has negative talent. Michael Vartan was much better for her, on the show and in real life. Her career can only go downhill from here. It's a sad, sad world when Ben Affleck gets the girl.
V. The West Wing should end.
No one can be president besides Martin Sheen. And this season is boring. They already did a season about the presidential campaign, and they aren't doing a good job with this one. I think they could realistically end the season with the presidential elections being thrown off by a terrorist attack and Martin Sheen having to remain in office indefinitely to maintain the country's stability. Wait, that wouldn't really end the show would it? And it would pose an interesting constitutional question... how long could he remain president? When would the elections have to be held again? What if the country was under martial rule? No elections in a martial law country. Hmm... so many possibilities to avoid having Jimmy Smits become president.
Conclusion: Wasting time by watching television leads to as many questions floating around in my head as I had before. Only they aren't pushing out the old questions, only squishing them a little bit by taking up space. All this, and I'm still going to get no sleep tonight. Damn television.
posted by Daughter of Shylock at 11:10 PM
3 Comments:
Boo to reality. Yay to inane cartoons!
Teen Girl Squad 10
simply brilliant! you should be president...or a tv critic. definitely, one of those
NOTE: I find the bottom of your blog very witty and thought-provoking. Now that my thoughts have been provoked, I shall go think them. Thank you.
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