Last Day of School!!!
So it's 4/20 and I'm not spending it celebrating National Pothead Day, but I am celebrating making it through 10 months of hell. Today was officially the last day of classes. So, I essentially made it through the first year of law school without any major scrapes or embarrassing moments. Now as long as I make it through the next two weeks of exams, I should be fine, right? Then I can just happily get on with my life, for 3 months until the torture starts all over again.
So what have I learned in a year? Let's recap:
Civil Procedure is boring, read the rules, you'll figure it out. Read the rules so you don't get sued for malpractice. Read the rules, that's what the exam is on. Read the rules.
Criminal Law was a waste of time. I learned more watching Law & Order.
Torts, what can I say about torts? Making us take that class with Banzhaf was a tort in itself, I think I have a valid claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress, assault and false imprisonment. What would my damages be? What would the COASE Theorem tell you about my claim?
Contracts is about Sponge Bob Square Pants and chicken. All contracts in every situation boil down to two issues, what cartoon character are the parties more like and what kind of chicken are you trying to push on me?
Property was useful, now I can tell my landlord to go screw themselves, I'm claiming constructive eviction, rent abatement and breach of implied warranty of habitability. I'm sure that if my landlord wasn't a faceless corporation, they would be scared of me now.
Constitutional Law, ah the great document that created our country and governs the way we live our lives. Too bad the interpretation of it has been left to a bunch of old white men who don't care about the impact of their selfishness on the rest of the country.
OK so that's what I think I learned in class, what have I learned about life?
Law school is like high school, it's a bunch of cliques, only with beer, therefore it's like high school with fraternities.
Grades don't matter, however sleeping with Skills Board Members will definitely get you a coveted spot on Moot Court or Mock Trial.
The people that you hated in high school and undergrad now go to law school, you will never escape from the jocks, the geeks or the princesses. They will haunt you for the rest of your life.
I guess that isn't so much about life than it is about law school, but you get the point, pathetically, law school is my life now. Help me.
So what have I learned in a year? Let's recap:
Civil Procedure is boring, read the rules, you'll figure it out. Read the rules so you don't get sued for malpractice. Read the rules, that's what the exam is on. Read the rules.
Criminal Law was a waste of time. I learned more watching Law & Order.
Torts, what can I say about torts? Making us take that class with Banzhaf was a tort in itself, I think I have a valid claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress, assault and false imprisonment. What would my damages be? What would the COASE Theorem tell you about my claim?
Contracts is about Sponge Bob Square Pants and chicken. All contracts in every situation boil down to two issues, what cartoon character are the parties more like and what kind of chicken are you trying to push on me?
Property was useful, now I can tell my landlord to go screw themselves, I'm claiming constructive eviction, rent abatement and breach of implied warranty of habitability. I'm sure that if my landlord wasn't a faceless corporation, they would be scared of me now.
Constitutional Law, ah the great document that created our country and governs the way we live our lives. Too bad the interpretation of it has been left to a bunch of old white men who don't care about the impact of their selfishness on the rest of the country.
OK so that's what I think I learned in class, what have I learned about life?
Law school is like high school, it's a bunch of cliques, only with beer, therefore it's like high school with fraternities.
Grades don't matter, however sleeping with Skills Board Members will definitely get you a coveted spot on Moot Court or Mock Trial.
The people that you hated in high school and undergrad now go to law school, you will never escape from the jocks, the geeks or the princesses. They will haunt you for the rest of your life.
I guess that isn't so much about life than it is about law school, but you get the point, pathetically, law school is my life now. Help me.
posted by Daughter of Shylock at 9:30 PM
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