The Next Round's On Me!!

Today has been the best Monday.

It finally stopped raining in time for me to go to work, on my walk to the Metro some guy tried to give me his phone number and had crossed the street solely for that purpose. Despite the fact that an hour and a half after that I still hadn't made it to work because the Metro was flooded from the aforementioned non-stop rain, I was still in a good mood.

Then I get to work, I actually have work to do, which is shocking in and of itself, and sad that I enjoy actually having work to do. Then, my bosses' boss, the guy you want to sign the letter of recommendation because his title is important (a) tells me my legal writing is pretty good [which I think is a compliment] (b) offers me a job (c) if I don't want to work for him after school, he will get me interviews with firms that may hire me instead!

That's like the trifecta of good things when it comes to legal jobs. What more could I ask for? [Besides a magical summer subsidy that would appear in my hands tomorrow]

What am I going to do with my Tuesday now? Somehow the week has to get better, can it get better? I should buy a lottery ticket. It was that kinda Monday.

DAMMIT

Right now, I am angry. So angry in fact, that words simply cannot express the gut wrenching ball of emotion that will undoubtedly not allow me to sleep tonight. And for that simple reason, I felt the need to blog. Because obviously when you can’t find the words to express yourself, what else would you do besides try to put those words into print?

Adding to my intense feeling of hatred for life and its many twists is the aggravation that Blogger and the goddamn internet is giving me right now. As if I didn’t have enough problems right now, stupid technology has to complicate things.

I dare someone to call me right now, because man, would I pick a fight about nothing that would inevitably end up in me hanging up on you because you’re being ridiculous and for god’s sake, grow up and let’s discuss this like adults. If I was drunk I would totally call up an ex and rehash everything he did wrong in a relationship that was over years ago. I feel like this is an anger that can only be resolved by getting something tattooed. However, being 400 miles away from the tattoo artist I trust is only adding to my level of frustration.

Good thing I am not going to work tomorrow, because I will undoubtedly be in a really bad mood tomorrow too and I should really avoid all contact with people that I want to speak to later in my life. It’s probably a good thing that we don’t have any alcohol in the house right now either.

I really need to work on my anger management skills – this entire post sounds really unhealthy. But the first step is admitting you have a problem…. So here it goes. I AM ANGRY!

Life Lessons #7839

I learned a bit about myself this past weekend and I know you're all dying to know, so I'm going to share.

I am not a keg party kinda girl. I can bullshit my way through any cocktail party, but take me out of my element and I'm back in 1st grade where I sat in the corner and was quiet so I didn't get in trouble. This was actually precipitated by getting detention my first day of first grade because I got tricked into swearing and was immediately told on. Funny how that lead to years of me being the quiet little girl in back row, swearing under my breath at the stupid teacher.

I am ready to be swept off my feet, and I'm not settling for anything less. I'm 25 dammit. After years of dating guys because it was fun to have a boyfriend, I'm ready to date someone I'm in love with. I don't have much patience for guys now. Either they get it or they don't. And I'm not waiting around for them to figure it out.

Despite my NY sensibility and deep rooted sense of self-assuredness, I do not like walking alone to find a cab at 1 AM. I also do not enjoy being shushed by a cab driver, that's just ridiculous. If you don't want me to tell you where I live, then you better have some extraordinary ESP skills. If not, you're not getting a tip for being rude to me.

I intensely dislike 1Ls. It was bound to happen, and dealing with a bunch of them as summer interns where I've already been interning for 6 months is starting to get on my nerves. By the end of the summer they better wisen up or I'm going to slap at least one of them.

I'm sure this will be a summer of revelations, so stayed tuned to me figuring out what you already know about me, and were just afraid to tell me. I promise I'll tone down the death stare, unless of course you're being stupid, in which case I'll just swear at you under my breath. I've gotten pretty good at it in the last 20 years!

The Fates Are Out to Get Me.

Proof #1: We're out of liquor (see post below)

#2: I tried to fix that problem today, only the liquor store didn't have power, so I couldn't use my credit card. Who carries around enough cash to buy a bottle of vodka?

#3: I overslept by 2 hours today, because we lost power last night and my alarm clock didn't go off. Hence I was 2 hours late for work. [However, the Fates do have a sense of humor, nobody knew I was late, because my boss didn't show up to work until 3 today!]

#4: Myspace is broken. OK, it's not that important, but I have to find someway to amuse myself when I'm not at work. I mean, it's like a whole 4 hours a week, what am I going to do with all that free time?

#5: My free lunch plans for the day were cancelled and moved to tomorrow, which considering #3 means I had to shell out for lunch, since running out of the house in sheer panic doesn't leave you much time to pack a lunch.

#6: Not only do I have to work until 9 pm on a Friday night, I've got the same shitty shift on Saturday. This is cramping my plans to enjoy my summer.

#7: It looks like North Carolina is going to win the Stanley Cup. I mean honestly, Edmonton really should win, they're Canadian after all. Even without their goalie they just deserve to win. I have a particular animus towards teams from the South winning the Cup. (See Buffalo v. Dallas, 1999). First North Carolina edges the Sabres out of the finals, and now they're practically assured the Cup. What is going on here?

#8: The song that just came on Pandora is "70's Porn Star" by the X-rated Cowboys. I mean really, I appreciate Honkytonkbadonkadonk, but this is a little much.

#9: It's 10 pm and I'm exhausted, despite getting almost 10 hours of sleep last night. This is a sign I'm old. This must mean it's time to settle down and resign myself to being an adult now. Damn is that depressing.

I'm going to have to turn my karma around somehow. Maybe I'll start giving my change to the economically challenged people by the Metro. Maybe I should start worshipping something, I mean, if I was to subscribe to a religion, it might change my future right? Maybe not, I have no plans of getting elected, I can stick with my current lack of faith. That just sounds like something else I'd have to fit in my schedule. However, if any of you out there feel like praying for my soul, I'll take all the help I can get.

There Should Be A Law...

...against being out of vodka and rum at the same time. I mean, what are you people trying to tell me? I know we had two parties this past weekend, but by Wednesday, anything that was empty should be replaced, right? Isn't that how the system works? I don't think you all understand how important vodka tonics are to me.

For instance, after spending a bit of time second hand smoking a hookah tonight, I was craving a vodka tonic. I mean, it could be that, or the fact that this is the first night in almost a week I haven't worked until 9:30 or so. Or it could be in celebration of getting published twice in two weeks. Whatever excuse you like, it's definitely time for a drink!

That said, tomorrow, a bunch of liquor is going on my credit card. This "dry" spell at our place can't go on. It's just not healthy. You don't want to see me after 2 days in a row without a drink. It ain't pretty.