The Sky Is Falling

I forgot all about this! It's absolutely hilarious what people will say in DC about a "sign." My personal view is that it symbolizes the federal government's loss of authority & respect under W.

More from the Washington Post, at least it's not a comment about the snow in Buffalo! And yes, I have been to the World's Largest Disco, and there are pictures!

Are You On The List?

Question: What is the etiquette or rule for keeping ex-boyfriend's information in your address book? While compiling my Xmas card list today I couldn't figure out who I should erase. Would I ever need to speak to them again? Should I keep their number in case the police need it in the future? What about numbers of their family members? Also useful in the future for the police, FBI, etc. This wouldn't be a problem if I had a little black book. Unfortunately I am limited to my general purpose address book, which is running out of room and I don't feel like buying extra address sheets, then I would have to erase & re-alphabatize everyone. Who knew a Xmas card list was so complicated? Along with the ex-boyfriend address dilema, I also can't decide who I should cut off my Xmas list. Is it enough that I didn't get a birthday card from them? Or should I go back to last Xmas? What if I sent a card, and they obviously sent one only in reply, not in the spirit of the season? [come to think of it, this covers a good third of my family, hmm...] Anyone with a Miss Manners rulebook please pass along the card etiquette portion.

Ambitious Goal: Did you know that this is my 78th post? What the heck? I really had that much to say? So my new goal is to get to 100 by the end of the year. Of course this means 22 more posts in the next 32 days. I'm going to have to get crackin' no slacking like I have been. Screw finals. It's all about the blog!

Buyer's Remorse: I bought the new Madonna CD in a fit of Black Friday frenzied shopping. Right now it's a coaster. I like Madonna, but the new CD is crap. All the songs sound the same and the music video for Hang On isn't inspiring at all. Madonna certainly gets props for appearing in a very 80's like pink leotard and leg warmers, but really, I liked her better angry and socially conscious. She's no Bono, but she is Madonna, and normally that's good enough for me.

What I should be doing right now instead of blogging: teaching myself copyright; outlining communications law; discovering the answer to all administrative law questions [I missed that day of class]; memorizing more Constitutional law [at this point, I'm more qualified than Harriet Meiers]; and finally figuring out what the heck patent law is about. But my readers are very important to me, so I blog on.

Why I Can't Accomplish Anything

CNN Free Video is ruining my attempts at studying. But, I am certainly not wasting this time. It's very educational!

For instance, I've learned that not all Canadians are stupid (a stereotype I like to encourage); that South Park is the best show ever, and I need to start watching it again; a store in Nashville, TN sells hip hop t-shirts that encourage drug dealing with a picture of a snowman; and the founder of the Crips is a "changed man" so he no longer deserves the lethal injection scheduled for December 13, writing children's books while in prison absolves you from all responsibility for murdering four people, word.

For any of you out there who need to waste some time being educated in 2 minute clips, I highly suggest you browse CNN's video content. There are worse things you could do with your "free" time.

All I Want For Christmas...

As previously promised here is my wish list for Xmas. Take note those of you who pull my name out of the Secret Santa bag... no Chia Pets accepted.

1. A pashmina, preferably in a turquoise or red
2. A Timolino travel mug, in any color but silver or navy blue
3. Napster gift certificates
4. Amazon.com or Half.com gift certificate (those textbooks are expensive)
5. Black leather tote with a zipper top
6. Set of silicone cooking utensils
7. Silicone basting brush & meat thermometer
8. Star Wars Episode 3 DVD
9. A mini herb garden
10. A tea ball
11. Apricot tea
12. Charcoal grey mid length pea coat, size 4
13. 2006 Mercedes CLK 500 Cabriolet, Pewter Metallic
14. 1970 Chevrolet Corvette Stingray Convertible, Fire Engine Red
15. A liberal (but not too liberal) Supreme Court nominee
16. Impeachment of President Bush
17. and Cheney
18. At least a B in Patent
19. A winning lottery ticket
20. Oh yeah, and world peace

A Lapse of Conviction

Guess what I just remembered? I don’t celebrate Christmas. I mean, I personally don’t follow the belief behind the holiday, but since my family does, I participate in the purely secular side of it. Y’know the fun consumer oriented side! Right now I can hear at least two people calling me a hypocrite since I will be buying a Christmas tree and subjecting my roommates to my taste in holiday decorating. [Although, they will benefit from my penchant for holiday baking, that should make up for it] I don’t have a plausible explanation for it except that the commercialization of the holiday has allowed people of all beliefs to participate in the splendor of Christmas. It is completely possible to ignore the religious meaning behind the holiday. I’m not even going to pretend it’s a celebration of the winter solstice as other non-believers do. You can’t have Santa figurines everywhere if you’re celebrating the beginning of winter!

Right wing Christian groups, please direct all hate mail to: Heretic c/o Turpis Causa, PO Box 666, Depths of Hell, Texas 40670.

It Only Happens Once A Year

Turpis Causa is happy to bring you the brand new holiday slogan from Starbucks. Along with this new witty slogan comes the red holiday cups and the holiday drinks: the Fantastic Gingerbread Latte; the Indulgent Eggnog Latte; the Succulent Peppermint Mocha; and a New Fabulous Drink just for Holiday ’05: the Chai Eggnog Latte! Can you taste Christmas yet?!?

Considering the fact that today is November 10 and Christmas is easily 6 weeks away, even though “It Only Happens Once A Year” it seems like it lasts for a substantial portion of the year. Doesn’t seem so special anymore does it? I will give props to Starbucks for waiting until the second week of November to declare that the Christmas season has started, unlike Target, who started before Halloween. I say this of course, as I sip a venti gingerbread latte….. mmmmm. [yes, my addiction is severe. When I saw someone on the Metro this morning with the red cup I knew the holiday drinks were here, because they didn’t have them yesterday when they were out of the magic ingredients that go into a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I need to make friends with a local Starbucks employee who can hook me up with advance notice of these important events, just leaving it to chance isn’t safe.]

Now that Starbucks has reminded me that I am about a month behind in preparing for Christmas I am soliciting wish lists from all those who wish to be graced by the most lovely gift I can find for $10. Being a poor law student and having spent a ton of money on plane tickets this last month has shrunk my Christmas budget to about $0. So I promise to whore myself out for the next month or so to earn some money to buy each of my faithful readers a lovely Turpis Causa inspired gift. This said, you better send me a wish list or you’re all getting Scooter Libby’s book, I’m sure I could get a discount from Amazon for ordering a case of them!

In return I will think long and hard about what I want that doesn’t cost $500+ and grace my readers with an easier shopping experience, since you won’t have to ask “What the heck should I buy? I have no idea what she wants!” I know you’re all anticipating hearing about my materialistic wishes and wants. I can see the anticipation….

Falling in Love is Hard on Your Knees

Or Proof #652 that law school degrades your ability to function in the real world.

Being an adult is scary, you have all these unfounded and irrational reactions to things you would have brushed off as a kid. For instance, skinning your knees: as an adult, when you fall and skin your knees, you immediately look around to see who saw you, then you very loudly point out the existence of a hole or uneven ground. Next you try to blame someone else and threaten to sue the city. You then take yourself home, groan when you walk up the stairs, complain about how you’re going to have a scar, properly apply antibacterial everything and numerous BandAids, take some aspirin and use your wounds as an excuse to get out of all physical activities for the next week.

Subtract 15-20 years from your age. Remember when you were young and you would skin your knees, get up and keep playing until you were called home? At that point you only sniffled slightly when your mother used brute force to sanitize your bleeding knees, lamenting the fact that you won’t be able to wear a skirt to the family function this weekend. You were much happier when she made up for it with ice cream and BandAids with cartoon characters. You proudly pointed out your battle wounds to aunts & uncles with more ice cream at the family function where you wore a skirt anyways. Where have those days gone?

Not only has getting old taken a toll on my resiliency to skinned knees, but law school has addled my mind so that I am no longer capable of walking, talking and carrying things at the same time. The only good thing that resulted from throwing myself onto the street was that I now own a very trendy pair of ripped jeans. Thank goodness I gave up rollerblading years ago. There is no way I could venture something that dangerous these days. My head is now at least 6 feet away from the pavement in rollerblades. When you’re little the ground is much closer, and a lot less daunting.

As adults we should be able to pick ourselves up and keep on playing, but that’s not going to happen is it? We’re too concerned about what other people think, not about what is going to make us happy. Where have our inner children gone? Can we entice them back with ice cream?

Where have I been, you ask? Why no witty posts and/or rambling discourses on the sad state of society? So many reasons come to mind, but none of them are even slightly amusing thus I won’t bore you with them. Needless to say the last three weeks have been trying, exhausting, stressful and only about 5% fun. But it is now November, I am officially writing off the month of October. So with the first day of November comes the first day of the rest of my life (and a promise that that is the last cliché in this post.)

Here follows a few random thoughts to catch you up on where my mind has been wandering lately:

1. Dear Cute Guy from Chloe:
You have my number, it’s only 10 digits long. Please dial. I promise I don’t bite.

2. Dear Family:
Why am I the only responsible one? At the risk of sounding self-centered, I am a very busy and very poor law student. I don’t have time to keep up with my current work much less take a week off and spend way too much money on a plane ticket to go home and take care of my mother. Dear Sister: you live at home, for free, how about chipping in once in awhile? Dear Aunts: you’re all retired and take a vacation about once a month, would it kill you to make a stop in Buffalo to check on your sister?

3. Dear Independence Air:
Despite the fact that you screwed me on my last plane ticket, I appreciate your effort to have a sale for December holiday travel. I have one little request though: please start serving coffee again or get rid of Richard Lewis on your safety talk. One or the other, I won’t be too demanding.

4. Dear Law School:
WTF with the schedule for next semester? I am paying too much money to this school to be forced to take 4 night classes to get enough credits to be full-time. Where can I lodge a complaint?

5. Dear Major League Baseball:
THANK YOU FOR THE END OF THE SEASON. I can finally get back to my fall TV schedule without dealing with repeats or cancellations because of some stupid event called the World Series.

6. Dear Harriet Miers:
Thank you for saving the status of the Supreme Court. Your graceful withdrawal has prevented the Supreme Court from becoming a laughingstock and saved you from countless years of late night humor.

7. Dear President Bush:
Are you kidding me? Do you really think you have the political clout to pull off Alito? C’mon, let’s refresh our memories: Libby got indicted; 2,000+ soldiers are now dead in Iraq; your first nomination to replace Sandy O’Connor was a joke; Alito is not a woman, nor a racial minority, stop insulting us; you haven’t held a coherent unstaged press conference in about 6 years; you recently, and rather hypocritically, urged Americans to conserve. I hope the Democrats filibuster Alito’s nomination. You deserve it. More importantly, O’Connor deserves a respectable nominee that isn’t an insult to her legacy. The faster you can come up with a reasonable nominee, the faster she can get back to taking care of her husband. Don’t you think you owe her an honest effort at nominating someone that can be confirmed? Tell Karl Rove to stick it and do the right thing.

I should probably get back to paying attention in Patent Law, so I’ll leave it here for now, but I’m sure I’ll be properly incensed enough this week to keep up the rambling!